Decode
by anneryn7
Summary: It was Jackson's love for Lydia that brought him back. I can't catch a break. I can take a lot and I mean a lot, but I can't stand here and take this. I don't understand the surge of emotions that are rushing through me, right now. With everything going on, I really haven't had a lot of time to dwell on the shift of my attraction. My attention has been claimed by Jackson.


**I DO NOT OWN **_**TEEN WOLF **_**OR THE CHARACTERS.  
Music Credit: "Decode" – Paramore**

* * *

_~*.*~  
_'_The truth is hiding in your eyes and it's hanging on your tongue, just boiling in my blood.  
But you think that I can't see what kind of man you're a man at all…  
Well, I will figure this one out on my own.  
(I'm screaming, 'I love you so.')  
On my own…  
(My thoughts, you can't decode.)'  
~*.*~_

* * *

I looked at the scene in front of me, dejectedly. Jackson died. He actually fucking _**died**_, right in front of our eyes. There's been so much death lately. With everything that's happened tonight… it's just too much, _**too fucking much. **_Jackson and Lydia were hanging onto each other like their lives depended on it… and in a way they did. It was Jackson's love for Lydia that brought him back. I can't catch a fucking break – story of my fucking life.

I can take a lot and I mean _**a lot**_, but I can't stand here and take this. I've been beaten down, kidnapped, and scared beyond shitless today. I told the girl that I spent the majority of my life crushing on that I would literally go out of my freaking mind if she died. And this… this is just the icing on the freaking cake. My heart can't take anymore disappointment tonight.

I looked at my jeep and saw the dents in the hood. I knew that driving it in here would be risky, but it wasn't like I had a whole lot of time to come up with a plan b.

I started to walk over to it and saw the headlights flicker and die. Fuck my fucking life! I didn't even have to try and turn on the ignition to know that my battery just died. Fuck it. I'll walk then.

I didn't bother to say any goodbyes or offer any explanations, before beginning my trek home. To be honest, I really don't want to be around them right now. I just want solitude – _**quiet**_.

I don't understand the surge of emotions that are rushing through me, right now. With everything going on, I really haven't had a lot of time to dwell on the shift of my attraction. Lydia is beautiful – the closest thing to a goddess that I've ever seen, but I didn't get the same feeling in my chest when I saw her. She's still achingly beautiful, but it's just that, beautiful. Her wit is as awe-inspiring as ever, but I'm not attracted to it. She used to walk into the room and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her, but lately, my attention has been claimed by Jackson.

I'm not naïve enough to even hope that he's into guys. Hell, I didn't even really think that I was, until he started to dominate all of my fantasies. It was a shock to me, to say the least. I always want the unattainable ones. I'm nothing, if not consistent.

The fact that he's a guy doesn't bother me. The fact that he's _**Jackson fucking Whittemore**_ does. I know that he can't be a complete douche all the time, or Lydia would have never wasted her time on him. I just… I don't understand what draws me to him. He's attractive, yes. He has cheekbones that must have been carved by the gods themselves, but apart from that, what does he have to offer? Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment… I just… I _**know**_ that he's a better person than he lets on. He has to be. I can feel it in my bones.

"Stilinski!" Someone yelled from behind me. I jumped, but kept walking. I'm not in the mood to see or hear anyone else. I'm fucking exhausted. The determination to get home is all that's keeping me going. Whatever adrenaline I had wore off. "Stilinski!" Someone yelled, again. I paused this time, but I didn't turn around. "Stiles, fucking stop!" The voice behind me clicked. It's Jackson. What could he possibly want? Does he want to rub his renewed relationship with Lydia in my face? As if he hasn't done that enough through my lifetime, already.

"What do you want, Jackson?" I sighed, as I finally turned around. I barely had time to blink, before he was face to face with me.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked me, instead of answering my question.

"I thought it was obvious. Obviously, you're not as smart as you think you are. I'm walking home, since my baby won't start. Is that okay with you?!" I snapped. He reeled back, just a step, and I felt the smallest bit of remorse.

"Why are you walking when there was a warehouse full of people?" He rephrased his question. I rolled my eyes.

"I wanted to be alone." I told him, quietly.

"Stilinski…" Jackson started to say something, but clamped his mouth shut. I huffed, irritatedly.

"What?!" I snapped, again.

"Are you… Are you okay?" He asked me with a very un-Jackson-like gentleness. I shrugged, not wanting to really answer him.

"Why do you care, Jackson?" I asked him, instead. He looked taken aback. "Well, as fun as this is, I'm gonna go. I have a long walk ahead of me, in case you didn't notice." I turned around and started walking. I slammed into a wall. I blinked and realized that wall, that built wall, was Jackson.

"Why do you assume that I don't care, Stilinski?" He asked me. "Why do you just assume that I don't give a fuck about you?" He demanded an answer. I gulped and tried not to let me fear of the newly turned wolf show.

"Because you never have," I replied, simply.

"Yes, I have, I just don't show it. Damn it, Stiles. I thought you were supposed to be _**smart**_."

"I don't get you Jackson. Why are you really out here? Shouldn't you be in there dry-humping Lydia?!" I quipped. He smirked. He looked more amused than pissed off.

"Are you jealous?" He asked me. I baulked at him. Is he fucking for real?!

"Anyone would be lucky to be with Lydia." I played off smoothly. Jackson didn't look convinced. Of course, he didn't. "Why are you here?" I whispered, as he crept even closer into my personal space.

"I love Lydia, Stiles, but I'm not _**in love**_ with her. That part of me died a long time ago. We never worked together. We both know that. It was just hard not to hang onto. I never deserved Lydia." He confessed.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked him, quietly, as my gaze dropped to my dirty sneakers and the gravel sitting below me.

"Everything has been so screwed up in my head that I haven't been able to see anything clearly. I knew that I didn't want Lydia anymore. I knew that I wasn't in love with Lydia anymore, but I never knew why. I was being drawn to someone else, Stiles. Being controlled and the kanima taking over just muted it, for a while. When I came to tonight, I knew who it was." He breathed. I felt his fingers grip my chin, lightly, and tilt my face up, so I was looking him dead in the eyes. "It's _**you**_, Stiles. I want _**you**_."

"Wh-what?" I stammered. "If you think it's funny to lie about something like this, it's not." I hissed at him. He didn't even look phased.

"Why would I lie to you about this? Do you think that I've ever even looked at guys in that kind of way, Stilinski? Yeah, my best friend is gay, but I've never swung that way. I can't get you out of my head. Your scent is so fucking intoxicating, that I can't concentrate. I told Lydia that what we had was in the past. She doesn't like it, but she gets it. She knows that I can never love her the way that she loves me. She's better off." He explained. My attention dropped to his lips. God, the things I'd love to do with those lips. I groaned. He pulled me tighter. "Are you going to make me beg?" He whispered. I shrugged, not completely trusting myself with words.

"I'm not going to stop you." I gasped. His smirk was back in full force.

"I'm going to kiss you. Are you going to stop me?"

"No," I assured him. He chuckled.

"Good."

* * *

_~*.*~  
_'_There is something – I see in you.  
It might kill me.  
I want it to be true.'  
~*.*~_

* * *

**A/N: I love Stiles and the many Stiles ships out there, especially Steter and Stackson. Don't get me wrong. I love Sterek, too, but there are tons of Sterek fics and not as many Stackson and Steter fics. There are definitely more one-shots on the way. **

**Review? Love it? Hate it? Let me know.**

**Xo Xo,**  
**Anneryn**


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